Is Fleshlight’s Vstroker The Future Of (Virtual) Sex?

In the future, we will fuck robots. Do not argue with me. This is inevitable. Think of it as a corollary to Moore's Law. As computing power increases at mind-blowing rates, we will use it for sex in exponentially more creative ways.

The new Vstroker add-on for the ever-popular Fleshlight is just a small step in man's journey to fuck robots. The WiiMotionPlus of sex toys, the Vstroker is a small, motion-sensitive cap that screws into the bottom of a Fleshlight. When the Vstroker is activated, it beams your stroke speed to your PC via a USB dongle, slowing down or speeding up the action you're watching to create the illusion that you're actually participating. The device is sold in a bundle with the Fleshlight ($129.95) or, if you've already got a Fleshlight, on its own ($69.95).

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm a very analog guy. I still listen to records and read things printed on paper. But there's something very appealing to me about the Vstroker. To me, porn, especially the POV kind, is intended to create the fantasy that my dick is actually in the models I'm watching fuck. By mimicking the feel of a real vagina and responding to my movement, the Vstroker has the potential to deepen that fantasy.

Unfortunately, my experience got off to a slow start. Out of the box, the Vstroker doesn't come with any content [Ed. But for an extra $6-$10, you can get a content package featuring starlets ranging from--at the cheaper end--Nicole Aniston and Stevie Shae to the pricer Misty Stone and Asa Akira]. After the 90+ minutes it took me to download and unzip the free Victoria Ray 600 mb video available on the product's website, I discovered the laptop I was using was too old to run the program. Given the amount of time I was putting into having sex with something, I started flashing back to my more desperate single days. Eventually, I gave up on the laptop and moved to a newer computer. Things seemed to be progressing well until immediately after penetration, when the proceedings were brought to an abrupt halt by an error message indicating the computer couldn't find my device. This has never happened to me before. I swear.

After a system update and things got going, the experience was quite fun. The video's intro gives you plenty of time to lube yourself up and manipulate yourself into the Fleshlight and, while the dialogue is asinine, Victoria is pretty hot. Once you're off and running, the self-contained video player lets you jump directly to a selection of POV scenes in a variety of positions, ranging from oral to anal.

The feeling of the Fleshlight is pretty amazing—it in no way replaces the warmth and feeling real thing (or the presumably very happy human being the real vagina is attached to), but it comes much closer than my hand ever will. As you use it, the video will change speed to match your movements. If things seem out of sync, you can adjust a "sensitivity" slider until it looks right. When you're ready to burst, you can click on the "climax" button to watch a cumshot onto Victoria's chest.

During my Vstroker session, I was surprised by how close I felt to the action. It was a very novel experience and, for a second or two, it actually seemed like I was actually having sex with the woman on my screen. However, that illusion was quickly shattered by the goofy mechanics of the video player. When I slowed down, it felt more like watching porn in slow motion than watching the tempo of the fucking change. The cumshot, too, felt off. If my dick was in a pretend vagina, why was the penis on screen climaxing onto a woman's body?

At this point, there's already a library of 12 scenes available for purchase on Fleshlight's website, so I'm sure the quality of the player will only improve over time. According to the site, Fleshlight will soon be rolling out cam support, in which women will fuck sex machines that react to your velocity. While I thoroughly enjoyed the Vstroker, it's hard to give it an unequivocal endorsement. Though there were fantastic moments, there were also times, especially during the cleaning of the unit, when I felt like this was far too much trouble to go just to bring myself to climax, especially when I have two perfectly good hands. I'm very excited by every step forward in robotic fuckery but, for now, I still jerk off manually.

· Buy the Fleshlight Vstroker (fleshlight.com)